No reason
by aznillusion183
Summary: Sanji creates a gourmet meal...for any special reason? Zoro x Sanji. Mature near the end. Happy Birthday, Zoro.


A/N: Zoro x Sanji. Guess what day 11/11 is.

---

Sanji bustled around the kitchen, taking bags of this and pots of that from cupboards and cabinets all throughout the spacious cooking area. He set these aside on the counter and then reached into the refrigerator.

Butter was set on the pre-heating oven to melt. Eggs were cracked swiftly and dropped into a bowl, where they were promptly beaten to a frothy texture. Milk was splashed into a cup that seemed to be unceremonious—but gave the exact amount of liquid needed for this recipe. Sanji's head was bent in concentration and his hands moved as though they had a will of their own as he put a few dashes of vanilla into the enormous bowl that he had already placed many of the wet ingredients into.

_Swish, swish_. The whisk twirled as he mixed the wet ingredients.

"Hm, this new flour should do the trick…" Sanji muttered to himself, pulling a small sack of flour from the pantry. It was extraordinarily fine, even for flour, and threatened to fly away on the slightest breeze. "The locals said that the texture should come out to be rather interesting." He carefully scooped the fine dust into the bowl and mixed it with the liquid slowly. Despite his efforts, a small cloud of jade-green dust still coated his white apron.

"Crystallized honey and white sugar for sweetness, cinnamon, my special baking spices, perfect!" Sanji beamed as he tossed a handful of powder from a heart-shaped jar into the mix. After adding the last of the ingredients, he began to pour the viscous mixture into an array of custom-made molds. "The temperature is just right, too," he mused, putting a hand experimentally into the oven." Done with this task, he began to beat powdered sugar and milk in a bowl. "Frosting time!"

---

"SAAANJI, WHAT'S THAT DELICIOUS SMELL?!" Luffy yelled, bursting into the kitchen. "Whatever it is, I want some. Is it meat? Or snacks?"

"Me too, me too!" Usopp and Chopper chorused, following the rubberman into the kitchen.

Luffy flew out the door with a well-placed kick; the others fled.

"Get out, you idiots, I'll serve it when it's ready," Sanji growled, his leg still up menacingly. His flexibility allowed him to point his foot straight into the air without much trouble.

"Oi, cook, how do you do that? Doesn't that hurt your balls? That is, if you have any…" Zoro smirked as he walked into the kitchen. Sniffing the air, he said "Making more treats for your precious masters?"

"Shithead, you get out, too. We're out of alcohol until the next island—that is, unless you want to drink the cooking wine." Sanji snarled.

"Grog is grog. Doesn't matter how you get the buzz. I know you have some good stuff hidden away somewhere," Zoro replied, already digging into the cabinets. "Warn me now if you have porn hidden away, I don't want to see any of that."

The swordsman flew and landed on his captain, thanks to a swift kick.

---

"Nami-swaaan, Robin-chwaaan, dinner is ready," Sanji sang. "You bastards can come eat too, but wait until the ladies are seated."

"Oooh, looks good!" Luffy said happily, completely disregarding Sanji and begin to scarf down whatever he could get his hands on.

"Hey bro, what's the occasion?" Franky called, slapping Luffy's hand reflexively. "It looks even better than usual."

"Eh, no reason. Just felt like treating you guys tonight," Sanji said nonchalantly, fiddling with a washcloth hanging from his pockets. "Well, dig in!"

Zoro sauntered in rubbing his head with a towel—he had been training—and stopped short.

"Sushi, onigiri, roasted sea king flanks, grilled sea king ribs, dark green salad with nuts, seafood medley that doesn't include monsters that don't even have a name…" Zoro said in disbelief as he surveyed the (rapidly disappearing) food on the table. "What the hell, ero-cook, you said we were out of ale!" he protested, pointing to a line of gleaming bottles in the middle of the table. He picked one up and his jaw dropped. "I didn't even know you had Denshu sake from Aomori Island! This is good stuff…" He quickly opened the bottle and took a sip, savoring the flavor and holding it protectively.

"You should probably eat before the food is all gone, Swordsman-san," Robin said with a small smile.

As he ate, Zoro stared at Sanji suspiciously. _Does he know…?_ Zoro thought anxiously.

After the last morsel of food was gone and the plates had been cleared from the table, Luffy began banging on the table. "Sanji, dessert!"

To everyone's surprise, he didn't kick Luffy or even growl at him. Instead, he smiled serenely and puffed his chest up proudly.

"Everyone, tonight you will experience a whole new realm of flavor that I invented just this afternoon," he announced grandly. "Please wait just a moment as I bring it to the table." He reached into one of the locked cupboards and unlocked the many bolts that held it shut. Finally, he drew out an enormous covered plate. He practically pranced back and placed it carefully on the table. "Hold Luffy down for me, will you?" he asked Franky.

"Hey Sanji, that's not fair—" Luffy began to whine until Franky firmly held his arms behind his back and his mouth shut.

"All ready to go, bro," Franky said.

"I present to you…_Le Gâteau Vert_," Sanji said, pulling the cover off of the plate. (The name just means The Green Cake in French)

"Wow, Sanji-kun…" Nami gasped, looking at it in astonishment. "You've really outdone yourself tonight."

"It certainly does look delicious. It's very beautiful, too," Robin observed.

"Hurry up, this guy's not going to stay still for long," Franky gasped, fighting to hold Luffy down.

"Mrrmph," Luffy said, trying to stretch his head and hands to grab it.

"It" was a cake. But not just any cake. This three-layered creation was swathed lovingly in a thick layer of green ganache and garnished with crystallized rose petals and elderberry blossoms. Fresh fruit had been sliced and arranged artfully on the cake, creating a dragon design that wound around the whole structure and that seemed to open its jaws at the top. Emerald green sprinkles made the dragon's body sparkle like a cut jewel. However, there was a surprising object perched on the very apex of the cake…

"Swords?" Zoro said incredulously. Indeed, three swords were standing tall in a triangle formation. They had been crafted from marzipan and were sugary miniatures of the three that hung by Zoro's waist. "Ero-cook, what are you…"

"Well, let's cut the cake!" Sanji interrupted. Now that everyone had taken in the sights, it was time to eat. Sanji deftly sliced the cake into sections and passed them out.

Zoro dug a fork into the light green cake and took a bite. "Oh my god…" he mumbled, his mouth full of the stuff. Around the table, the others were having similar reactions.

It was wonderful. Zoro briefly flashed back to Skypiea and the soft clouds there that they had rolled in so luxuriously. The texture was strange, but delectable—it felt as though it should melt in your mouth, but there was still a feeling of heaviness on the tongue that only served to enhance the flavor. To attempt to describe the taste was impossible.

Sanji had counted on Luffy and the other boys ("We're men!" they protested) eating a lot and had compensated by baking such a big cake. However, he was surprised when Robin and Nami passed their plates back and requested a second and third slice. He was greatly disappointed by Zoro, though.

"Marimo, you're still on your first slice. Don't even think about telling me that you don't like it," he said sourly.

Zoro looked at him with a dreamy look in his eyes. "What…?" he said softly, without a trace of antagonism. "I still can't get over the first bite."

Sanji stared. Was that a good sign or a bad one? Finally, he chuckled and set aside a large chunk of the pastry and locked it away. That baka could eat more later.

After all, wasn't it his…

---

Sanji wiped the tables down methodically, taking care to wipe away the last drops of sauces and smudges of green frosting left on the polished surfaces. He was so tired from cooking all day that he didn't hear the door swing open, click shut, and lock. He did, however, feel the two large arms that wrapped around his shoulders in an awkward bear hug.

"Thanks, ero-cook," Zoro mumbled through the chef's hair; his soft breath tickled Sanji's neck.

Sanji stood shock still. "F-for what? Stop suffocating me, baka," he stuttered, squirming in the swordsman's grasp.

"For the meal today. It was really good," Zoro said, refusing to budge. If anything, he flipped Sanji around and began to slide him onto the clean tables, undoing his apron strings.

"Tch, I slave all day and all I get is 'really good'? There are more eloquent words in the dictionary, you know," Sanji fussed, attempting to scrabble over the table away from the man who was now creeping slowly on top of his torso. "What the hell are you doing? Get away! Shoo!"

Zoro smirked. "You sound like a school girl. What are you going to say next, 'kyaa?' If you need a better word, how about succulent? Scrumptious? Or…orgasmic?" he whispered the last words into Sanji's ear, now firmly straddling the struggling cook.

"Ugh, what makes you think I did it for you, anyway? My ladies—"

"—didn't have their birthdays today. I did. C'mon, we both know why you did it. White rice and sea king meat are my favorite foods, and somehow you figured that out while we were stuck together on this ship. You even let me drink the premium sake that I didn't even know about. And the cake?" Zoro laughed. "Pretty much a dead giveaway. You moron, you call me marimo every day and then you bake a green cake. With swords on it. Unless you're going for some nasty innuendo (which you probably are, anyway) it's pretty damned obvious. The only people who didn't notice were probably Chopper and Luffy."

Sanji felt the blood begin to rise in his face. _Damnit, I am NOT blushing. No, the blood is rushing to my head because he's pinning my arms down. And it's also rushing…er…down there…_

Apparently, Zoro felt something and he nearly jumped off of the red-faced chef. "What the…Oh? I think I felt something _hard_, cook." Zoro reached for the pot of honey that Sanji had yet to file away that sat innocently on the counter nearby. "Hm…" he hummed, slowly unbuttoning Sanji's shirt.

"O-oy! Cut it out—" Sanji's protests were muffled by the surprisingly soft lips that covered his, and the warmth that pressed down on his body as Zoro finished unbuttoning the shirt and pulled Sanji up so he could pull it off.

After the shirt was gone, Zoro began unbuckling Sanji's pants and pulled the zipper down roughly—apparently, he was getting impatient.

"Hey, why am I stark naked and you're still—oh."

Zoro pulled his own pants off and tossed them on the pile before finally grinning. "It's about time that we have some fun."

He drizzled the honey delicately over Sanji's pale body, from his neck down his chest to his hardening member. Pinning Sanji's arms down, Zoro bowed his head and decadently licked the sticky substance, rolling his tongue and using his teeth until Sanji shuddered under his grip.

"Stop playing with me, damnit, and just fuck me!" Sanji snarled, reaching up and nipping Zoro on the collar. "…Oops…" They both could already tell that he had left a love mark.

"Heh, after I'm done with you, you won't even be able to walk, dartboard," Zoro said with a sadistic grin.

"W-w-wait just a minute, don't start—oh my dear lord pull it out pull it OUT!" Sanji shrieked, writhing in an awful mix of pain and pleasure.

---

"Psst…do you think they know we can hear them?"

"Probably not…but they probably wouldn't care, anyway."

"At least someone's getting laid on this ship."

"Oh, my."

"My ears, my poor virgin ears!"

The rest of the Mugiwara crew was huddled in the men's quarters. The large kitchen, unfortunately, had excellent acoustics, and the bedrooms were adjacent to the kitchen. These factors coupled with the sounds of Sanji's shrieks and moans and Zoro's feral snarls created an erotic combination that none of them wanted to be a part of.

"Chopper, cover your ears!"

"Neh, what are they doing? Wrestling? I want to join in!"

"Luffy, wait! They're, uh…reading! Yeah, that's it"

"Augh! Forget it, then!"

"_Oh, Zoro-chan! Mmm, just like that, yeah, faster, faster! Wow, your endurance is amazing—what was that, the third time?"_

"_Heh, I could probably go for one more, but I don't want to break you."_

"_Psh, I can go for way longer than you can…"_

Sanji and Zoro's voices drifted up through the floorboards.

---

The next morning, the kitchen was avidly avoided by the entire crew. Inside, Sanji began to stir.

"Ugh, what the hell…I feel like I slept all night on a hard surface and that there's a stick in my—oh. I guess it's because I fell asleep on the table with this idiot on—or in?—me."

Sanji began tapping the side of Zoro's head, none too gently. "Get up. Get up. Get up."

After much prodding, poking, pinching, and pushing, Zoro woke up. "Whassa matter, cook…" he slurred wearily. "Urgh, I feel like there's something squeezing my—oh. There is. I guess it's time to get up." He tried to rise, but winced in pain as he felt something pull at his skin. "What the…"

They were stuck together. Unfortunately the honey, sweat, and love-juice (just use your imagination to figure out that last one) that coated their bodies and the tables had hardened during the night and worked like glue.

"Alright, love-cook, this might hurt a little…" Zoro said, planting his arms firmly on the table and digging his feet into the floor.

"Wait, no, just get some hot water—AUUUGH!" Sanji yowled as Zoro ripped his body away.

"Well, on the bright side…your whole frontside doesn't need to be waxed. You were pretty damned hairy."

"Shut up! It's a sign of manliness! Get over here, you shitty swordsman, so I can kill you!"

"Heh, then why was I on top the whole time, then, eh?"

"It's not your damned birthday anymore, so I'm definitely going to kill you today!"

Zoro ran gleefully around the table pursued by the chef and suddenly turned to grab Sanji by the waist and hoist him over his shoulder.

"Let's go on the couch. There are some more positions I wanted to try," Zoro said.

"O-o-oy!"


End file.
